A Line in the Sand

This book is a true account of my experience as a Marinein the Gulf War. I decided to tell my story in hopes ofdeveloping, in the reader, a deeper respect for America'sveterans by revealing the extreme mental and physical sacrificesa soldier must make during war. I want to show how ourown government, while fulfilling our duty, treated us, howpeople get through such experiences and what those peopledo to keep their sanity. For me it was music and religion. I lived vicariously inthe songs; they allowed me to mentally release pent up emotionsand often, at times, the music would take me away toa place where there was no danger. Belief in a supremebeing helped me to also cast away my fears. I had God toconfide in and it was a way to help make me feel like I hadsome control over my destiny. It also helped me to acceptdeath. I served two tours in the Gulf War. Marines did not havethe luxury of knowing that when our tour of duty was overwe could go home. We were there for the duration, no matterhow long that took. As the Commandant of the MarineCorps put it so gracefully in the Saudi desert on a blisteringhot October day, "e;Your head and your ass are in my cornerand you will go home when I say you can go home!"e; War ispure hell, no matter how quickly it ends or how long it lasts. Ever since I came home from the Gulf War I have had todeal with hearing things like "e;Oh, that was an easy war"e; or"e;They didn't even fight, you guys had it easy."e; People kepttelling me "e;Oh, that wasn't a real war."e; Compared to otherwars, such as World War I, World War II, Korea, and morerecently Vietnam, the loss of life, on our side, was far less. However, no war is easy and losing one life, let alone a fewhundred, is one too many. I hope to dispel these perceptionsand show what really happened in the Gulf War. The fact ofthe matter is, as General Norman Schwartzkopf put it, "e;It's notthat the Iraqi's didn't fight, it's that our troops are just thatdamn good!"e;I hope to show the realities of war, which can be quiteunnerving and gut wrenching. Realities that were sopainful they have forced grown men to wound and evenkill themselves just to escape. Memories that cause them todo drugs, drink and completely defile themselves for arelease from the pain, if only for a few hours. I want toreveal the stark differences between what really happens inwar and what is reported to the American people. We allhad to change and adapt to our situation overseas in orderto survive, greatly changing all of our lives once wereturned home. As the Marine Corps always says, "e;Adapt,overcome, and improvise!"e; In the past I had to apply thisesoteric phrase to many enigmatic cycles of my life inorder to overcome them. Back when I was contemplating writing this book I wastaken by a quote from the movie Platoon, by Oliver Stone. Atthe end of the movie, Charlie Sheen's character reflects onhis experiences and says, "e;Those of us who make it homehave an obligation to rebuild again and to teach the worldwhat we know."e; With this book, I hope to achieve this. Thoseof us, who do make it, have made it for a reason. I think, forme, that reason is the one so poignantly stated above; I havean obligation to rebuild and to teach the world what I know. Finally, I have included most of the letters I wrote homewhile I was in the Gulf War. They contain many grammaticalerrors and misspellings. This is because I included them inthis book exactly the way I wrote them in 1990/1991.

This book is a true account of my experience as a Marinein the Gulf War. I decided to tell my story in hopes ofdeveloping, in the reader, a deeper respect for America'sveterans by revealing the extreme mental and physical sacrificesa soldier must make during war. I want to show how ourown government, while fulfilling our duty, treated us, howpeople get through such experiences and what those peopledo to keep their sanity.For me it was music and religion. I lived vicariously inthe songs; they allowed me to mentally release pent up emotionsand often, at times, the music would take me away toa place where there was no danger. Belief in a supremebeing helped me to also cast away my fears. I had God toconfide in and it was a way to help make me feel like I hadsome control over my destiny. It also helped me to acceptdeath.I served two tours in the Gulf War. Marines did not havethe luxury of knowing that when our tour of duty was overwe could go home. We were there for the duration, no matterhow long that took. As the Commandant of the MarineCorps put it so gracefully in the Saudi desert on a blisteringhot October day, "Your head and your ass are in my cornerand you will go home when I say you can go home!" War ispure hell, no matter how quickly it ends or how long it lasts.Ever since I came home from the Gulf War I have had todeal with hearing things like "Oh, that was an easy war" or"They didn't even fight, you guys had it easy." People kepttelling me "Oh, that wasn't a real war." Compared to otherwars, such as World War I, World War II, Korea, and morerecently Vietnam, the loss of life, on our side, was far less.However, no war is easy and losing one life, let alone a fewhundred, is one too many. I hope to dispel these perceptionsand show what really happened in the Gulf War. The fact ofthe matter is, as General Norman Schwartzkopf put it, "It's notthat the Iraqi's didn't fight, it's that our troops are just thatdamn good!"I hope to show the realities of war, which can be quiteunnerving and gut wrenching. Realities that were sopainful they have forced grown men to wound and evenkill themselves just to escape. Memories that cause them todo drugs, drink and completely defile themselves for arelease from the pain, if only for a few hours. I want toreveal the stark differences between what really happens inwar and what is reported to the American people. We allhad to change and adapt to our situation overseas in orderto survive, greatly changing all of our lives once wereturned home. As the Marine Corps always says, "Adaptovercome, and improvise!" In the past I had to apply thisesoteric phrase to many enigmatic cycles of my life inorder to overcome them.Back when I was contemplating writing this book I wastaken by a quote from the movie Platoon, by Oliver Stone. Atthe end of the movie, Charlie Sheen's character reflects onhis experiences and says, "Those of us who make it homehave an obligation to rebuild again and to teach the worldwhat we know." With this book, I hope to achieve this. Thoseof us, who do make it, have made it for a reason. I think, forme, that reason is the one so poignantly stated above; I havean obligation to rebuild and to teach the world what I know.Finally, I have included most of the letters I wrote homewhile I was in the Gulf War. They contain many grammaticalerrors and misspellings. This is because I included them inthis book exactly the way I wrote them in 1990/1991.