The Accidental Copywriter

I used to be a hairdresser. Now I make my money writing.

It’s a coffee shop sized read. It reveals my whole journey into the world of writing great copy (accidentally).

If you want more response with your copy, you should probably read it.

If you want to become a copywriter. You should definitely read it.

If you are a copywriter and want to go into another level, just grab the book and stop playing around.

I walked out of school at 15-years old with no grades of any sort and no options so I dug holes in the ground for three or so years and put trees into those holes. 

I eventually became a hairdresser with a salon in a working-class mining town in Lancashire, England. At some point in my life, I ended up speaking on stages with Jay Abraham, Jay Conrad Levinson, and many other super-stars of the world of business, copywriting and marketing. Yeah, really!

I’ve been flown around the planet at least half a dozen times to teach strategic business (something I have never been taught.) 

I’ve even sat with the rich and famous including well-known Hollywood stars and British TV stars. I even spent two weeks in the middle of the Amazonian jungle because of my writing adventures. I wrote some stuff that raised around $100k. I gave it away to an Amazonian fundraiser. They, in turn, insisted I fly to Ecuador and then into the heart of the jungle to see how this was being spent. I went, I loved it, it was crazy!

I’ve even sat in with some of the U.K.s biggest corporate companies and have been asked to give advice, tear down internal marketing teams and rebuild them into small power-houses. Crazy stuff!

And I started doing that whilst I was still a full-time working hairdresser.

I’ve had no formal copywriting training or ever taken a course in my life. I’ve had no paid living mentors to guide me. I never paid more than I should for any book on the subject. I never once read a book from start to end on copy. I just read what I needed to know to get the job done. That’s never changed.

I want you to know this. I’m not the incredible John Caples. I truly wish I was David Ogilvy. I am nowhere near as good as copywriters like the brilliant self-styled antagonist copywriter Clayton Makepeace or the gentle Michel Fortin.

I’m just an accidental copywriter. I fell into the whole thing. I had no idea what is was or what I was doing. I just write stuff. And I suppose I took the time to think about what I wanted to say and then wrote down what I was thinking. Sometimes it makes sense. Sometimes it doesn’t. But when it does make sense every word can carry some kind of weird hypnotic power that gets readers to react or respond. 

I’m still not sure how I do it, but I do it.

And at heart, I’m an old punk finding his way in life but seems to have found his way so many times it can read pretty hard to believe.

And one more little fact. I started writing Ads for my businesses in 1985. I had never heard of the term ‘copywriting’ until the late 90s at the earliest.

All I knew was that little punk track got my attention with its title and cover. That’s what I had to do with my ads. Get attention and encourage the reader to act.

For a self-employed guy like myself, I had no option - it had to work despite what little I knew; it just had to work. I wanted out of hairdressing at some point and this was just one option that worked.

So here are a handful of tales and stories as I remember them. I hope you enjoy and feel inspired at some level.

Are you ready to read my ridiculous and sometimes outrageous but true stories of the accidental copywriter?

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements 4

Introduction by Michel Fortin 4

Foreword by Mark Joyner 8

Oh Bondage Up Yours 17

Posters for my punk band ‘Clone Youth!’ 21

Digging holes, being a punk and writing 24

The Unemployable Punk Hairdresser 26

My Very First Advert - 1985 28

1989 My First Brick and Mortar Business & “What’s Marketing?” 30

I Had To Tell and Stop Assuming 32

My Zero Strategy Approach 35

I Made a Flyer  - Here’s What Happened 38

The Biker on a Beach 41

I Read a Book For The First Time 45

My Needs, My Life & The Difference 47

When the Headline is a Thought on Paper 49

I Discovered The Mind Follows a Path to Buying 56

Converting Words for the Phone 59

Marketing Takes Huge Constant Effort 62

The Bigger Salon the Bigger Problems 64

Getting Deeper into Marketing & Writing 66

The Car Park and The Big Wall 70

The Little I Knew About Copy Was This 74

From Hairdresser to Writer to Whatever 78

Crazy Colin, “Who Writes Your Ads?” 80

The Accountant’s Letter – More Huge Sales 83

The 47% Sales Letter 86

The Car Sales King With Half a Brain – Literally! 89

Dave The Accountant & the Orange Beetle 93

The Calls Kept on Coming 95

The Copywriters Board Online 97

FF3300 the Orange Beetle 100

Let My New Brand Be Built 103

It’s Time Too Seriously Rethink My Career 106

The Full Transition Into Copy Consultancy 108

I Went Back To School 111

David Ogilvy 113

Michel Fortin 116

Give Me An Hour Speaking With Jay Abraham And I’ll Do It 123

35k, 50k and 50k From a Talk 125

The Fifty Grand Refund 127

Speaking Invites 129

The Business of Being a Speaker 131

The U.K.s Number One  Copywriter? 134

OMG JAY CONRAD LEVINSON 136

Texas, Jay Abraham, Henry 8th & Elton John 140

Corporate Chaos and The Big Desk 143

The Famous Groucho Club in Soho 148

Cyprus Mobsters 150

Alan, You Saved Her Life 153

I Wrote My Wife Into My Life 155

Speaking And Classes … Maybe, Maybe Not 158

My Copywriters Masterclass 2005 162

Work And Not Work 165

God Had Gone 167

Opportunity Rarely Travels By Twice 169

Words and Accountability 171

My Powerhouse Three Letter System (6-steps with lift note) 173

You Must Write Daily 180

It’s Broke So Offer To Fix It 182

My Jay Abraham Confession 185

One Client Mindset 187

Here’s How I Write My Copy 190

Getting Seen 195

Business Building 199

When To Say No…! 201

Today’s Copywriters 202

Wanted: Great Copywriters 204

What I Learned From Accidentally Becoming A Copywriter 206

Copy Is Conversation In Print – That’s It! 209

Life Today for The Accidental Copywriter 213

The Only Tips I Will Offer New Copywriters 217

A Eulogy for Clayton Makepeace 220

My Tiny Reading List 224

Mentor, Alliance or Partner with Alan Forrest Smith 227

Bibliography 229

Special Bonus For You 230