No Perfect Love

Dr. Alyson Nerenberg is a licensed psychologist who has been counseling individuals, couples, and groups for the last 30 years. After earning her doctorate in clinical psychology from Widener University in Chester, PA in 1997, she spent 5 years as the clinical director of the Keystone Center Extended Care Unit, a nationally known, residential treatment program for healing from addictive behaviors and trauma. Additionally, she spent 5 years as a board member for the International Institute for Trauma and Addictions Professionals where she headed the supervision committee. She has supervised hundreds of therapists and lectured nationally on various topics including healing from trauma and addictions. Dr. Nerenberg has spent the last 20 years running her private practice, Dr. Alyson Nerenberg Psychology Associates, PC in Philadelphia, PA. She had been featured on MSNBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, A&E, and CN8. Although she has written chapters in various text books and professional journals, this is her first book. In addition to her professional accomplishments, Dr. Nerenberg is most proud of her family, including: her husband, Jeffrey; children, Amanda, Marissa, and Justin, and their white fluffy dog, Rosie.

Perfect couples do not exist; nor do perfect families. Yet, in our photoshopped, Instagrammable world where we only present flawless versions of ourselves, we are easily tricked into believing they do. Clinical psychologist, Dr. Alyson Nerenberg has spent 30 years listening to couples, families, executives, celebrities, and professional athletes, and is here to share the truth. Whether we are willing to admit it or not, every one of us experiences challenges in our relationships.

While many books have been written about overcoming our own perfectionism, rarely has one described our tendency to expect perfection from others. How do we cope when our illusions of flawless relationships are shattered? What do we do when we discover extra-marital affairs, addiction, financial betrayal, or dishonesty from our partners? What happens when we realize our children are in crisis? In those moments, we have several decisions to make: we can face our loved ones, we can deal with our own vulnerabilities, or we can run.


With wisdom and compassion, Dr. Nerenberg thoroughly explores the origins of perfectionism and how it keeps us stuck in a cycle of disappointment, anger, and resentment. Expertly combining psychological theory, popular culture, her patients' life-changing moments, and her own challenges and growth, Dr. Nerenberg transforms trauma into triumph. Through case studies and powerful tools, including 12 clarifying questions that help us decide whether to stay or leave our relationships, she helps us write a new story where we overcome our adversities and find meaning in our heartbreaks.