Leading With Emotional Courage

PETER BREGMAN is the CEO of Bregman Partners, Inc., a company that helps senior leaders create accountability and inspire collective action on their organization's most important work. He is the bestselling author of 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done, named the best business book of the year on NPR, and selected by Publisher's Weekly and the New York Post as a top 10 business book. He is also the author of Four Seconds: All the Time You Need to Replace Counter-Productive Habits with Ones That Really Work, a New York Post top pick for your career in 2015.

The Wall Street Journal bestselling author of 18 Minutes unlocks the secrets of highly successful leaders and pinpoints the missing ingredient that makes all the differenceYou have the opportunity to lead: to show up with confidence, connected to others, and committed to a purpose in a way that inspires others to follow. Maybe it's in your workplace, or in your relationships, or simply in your own life. But great leadership--leadership that aligns teams, inspires action, and achieves results--is hard. And what makes it hard isn't theoretical, it's practical. It's not about knowing what to say or do. It's about whether you're willing to experience the discomfort, risk, and uncertainty of saying or doing it. In other words, the most critical challenge of leadership is emotional courage. If you are willing to feel everything, you can do anything.Leading with Emotional Courage, based on the author's popular blogs for Harvard Business Review, provides practical, real-world advice for building your emotional courage muscle. Each short, easy to read chapter details a distinct step in this emotional "workout," giving you grounded advice for handling the difficult situations without sacrificing professional ground. By building the courage to say the necessary but difficult things, you become a stronger leader and leave the "should'ves" behind.Theoretically, leadership is straightforward, but how many people actually lead? The gap between theory and practice is huge. Emotional courage is what bridges that gap. It's what sets great leaders apart from the rest. It gets results. It cuts through the distractions, the noise, and the politics to solve problems and get things done. This book is packed with actionable steps you can take to start building these skills now.* Have the courage to speak up when others remain silent* Be stable and grounded in the face of uncertainty* Respond productively to opposition without getting distracted* Weather others' anger without shutting down or getting defensiveLeading with Emotional Courage coaches you to build your emotional courage, exercise it effectively, and create an environment in which people around you take accountability to get hard things done.

Why You Should Read This Book xxvSelf Assessment xxxviiELEMENT ONEBUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE 1PART ONE KNOW WHO YOU ARE 3Chapter 1 Be Yourself 5The High Cost of Conformity, and How to Avoid ItChapter 2 Find Your Ground 9Stay Steady, Balanced, and CalmChapter 3 Stay Curious About Yourself 13How to Ask for Feedback That Will Actually Help YouChapter 4 Access Self-Compassion 17The Problem with High ExpectationsChapter 5 Embrace Your Shadow 21How to Avoid Becoming the Person You HateChapter 6 It's Not All About Achievement 25Stop Worrying About How Much You MatterPART TWO BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE 29Chapter 7 Find Clarity 31What's Your One Big Theme?Chapter 8 Become More of Who You Are 35You're Already Pretty AmazingChapter 9 Stay Focused 39You Need to Practice Being Your Future SelfChapter 10 Be Strategic and Intentional 43Five Steps to Investing Your Energy More WiselyChapter 11 Don't Lose Yourself in Pursuit of Becoming Yourself 47Take Your Life BackChapter 12 How Will You Measure Success? 51Why You Should Treat Laughter as a MetricELEMENT TWOCONNECT WITH OTHERS 55PART ONE BE CURIOUS AND TRUSTING 57Chapter 13 The Impact of Trust 59The Real Secret of Thoroughly Excellent CompaniesChapter 14 Stay Open 63How to Really ListenChapter 15 Stay Curious About Others 67People Can't Be Summed Up by Personality TestsChapter 16 Stay Creative 71Are You Trying to Solve the Wrong Problem?Chapter 17 Be Useful 75Hold the BabyChapter 18 Make People Feel Good 79How Not to Lose a SalePART TWO BE CLEAR AND TRUSTWORTHY 83Chapter 19 Everyone Is Contagious 85How to Use Your Superpower for GoodChapter 20 Use Fear as a Guide 89How to Talk About What You Most DreadChapter 21 Lead with the Punchline 93How to Start a Hard ConversationChapter 22 Skillful Communication in the Heat of the Moment 97Outsmart Your Next Angry OutburstChapter 23 Own Your Stuff 101I Want You to ApologizeChapter 24 Let Others Know You See Them 10520 Seconds to a Better BonusELEMENT THREECOMMIT TO PURPOSE 109PART ONE ENERGIZE YOUR FOCUS 111Chapter 25 Play Hard 113Nadal Is Strong Enough to Cry; Are You?Chapter 26 Know Where You're Going 117Define Your Big ArrowChapter 27 Focus Where It Matters 123Four Areas to Focus Your AttentionChapter 28 Use Your Focus as a Filter 127Use Your First Day Back from Vacation to Energize Your FocusChapter 29 You Can't Say It Enough 131The Mouthwash Principle: For Energized Focus, Rinse and RepeatChapter 30 And Sometimes It's Better to Say Less 135If You Want People to Listen, Stop TalkingPART TWO FOCUS THEIR ENERGY 139Chapter 31 Gifted, Game, and Generous 141Three Qualities All Leaders Need to Cultivate Within Their TeamsChapter 32 Engage from the Beginning 145The Farm-to-Table Method of Focusing the Energy of Your TeamChapter 33 Helping Others Be Trustworthy 149The Secret to Ensuring Follow-ThroughChapter 34 Creating Accountability 153Five Building Blocks for a Culture of AccountabilityChapter 35 Bigger Than You 157Why Leaders Should Try to Be OverwhelmedChapter 36 Improving Performance After a Critical Error (PACE) 161How to React When Someone DisappointsELEMENT FOUR CULTIVATEEMOTIONAL COURAGE 165PART ONE FEEL COURAGEOUSLY 167Chapter 37 Know What You Are Feeling 169Develop Your AwarenessChapter 38 Feeling Is Physical 173Dance with Your MonsterChapter 39 Practice Feeling 177Embracing TemptationChapter 40 Feel Uncertainty 181The Emotional Adventure of LeadershipChapter 41 Be Willing to Feel the Hard Stuff 185Why Leaders Must Feel PainChapter 42 Feel Everything 189Allow for ComplexityPART TWO ACT BOLDLY 193Chapter 43 Risk Is the Key to Leadership 195Unlocking Your Success EquationChapter 44 Build Your Risk Muscle 199The Small Personal Risks That Change BehaviorChapter 45 Make a Decision 203Act Boldly to Get MovingChapter 46 Risk Truth 207It's Your Job to Tell the Bold TruthsChapter 47 Try Something Different 211The Unexpected Power of InauthenticityChapter 48 The Limitless Possibility of Now 215A Question That Can Change Your LifeEpilogue 219Acknowledgments 221About the Author 223