a man wearing a dress

This is the story of one man who starts to question his gender identity in his middle age. Along the way, he reflects on today's world of rapid and profound change, why we're enduring stressful times, and where he thinks we're headed (hint: he's an optimist, and tells you why!). Finally, he suggests that we heal the damage caused by sexism and racism by abandoning blame and instead working toward mutual understanding, support, and love. The book consists of a series of short essays, poetry, and a few illustrations. The author's writing style is direct, personal, vulnerable, and yet with a sense of humor.

This is the story of one man who starts to question his gender identity in his middle age. Along the way, he reflects on today's world of rapid and profound change, why we're enduring stressful times, and where he thinks we're headed (hint: he's an optimist, and tells you why!). Finally, he suggests that we heal the damage caused by sexism and racism by abandoning blame and instead working toward mutual understanding, support, and love. The book consists of a series of short essays, poetry, and a few illustrations. The author's writing style is direct, personal, vulnerable, and yet with a sense of humor.

(essays and • poems)
What Is Love? •    4
I Don't Blame You •    6
Not Everything    7
Day One    8
I Deserved My Mother’s •    10
Living in the 1950s    11
The Unexpected    14
The Erection    18
Blue and Gray    19
Two Paths of Fear    20
Early On    21
The World Outside    23
The New House    24
Gravel Road •    26
Patriotic    28
Housework    29
School Sucks    30
School Triumphs    33
Recess    35
The Ocean Liner    36
Tree Tops    37
Boys and Girls    38
Little League    40
A Nasty Surprise    42
Swimming Lessons    44
The Swimming Lesson    46
Boxing Lessons    49
The Bonfire    51
Patriarchy •    52
Boy Scouts    53
The Future    54
Playing With Numbers    55
Compost Pile    56
Racism, Invisible    57
Blame Culture    59
High School    60
Down for the Count    61

Interpretation •    65
The Garage    66
The Latest Thing    67
Life Path & the World Around Us    68
A Shock to the System    69
The Price of Integrity    72
Do Not Read •    74
Higher Education    75
The Dawn    78
Uncle Sam Calls    79
College?    85
At Goddard    87
Sex and Drugs and Rock ’n Roll    89
Dance Class    92
Feminism    94
The Decline of Civilization    96
Asking for Help    97
Suburban Life    98
A Job’s a Job    101
Charging Ahead    103
Making a Living    105
Emotional Growth    107
Days of Darkness    108
At the Bottom    111
A Great Loss    113
The Spirit    115
Seeking •    117
The Inventor Gene    118
My Own Two Feet    120
Family Matters    122
Prophecy    127
Change    129
The Curve    131

Border Crossing •    136
Size Matters    137
Fashion Trumps Everything!    141
What is Science?    143
I start asking    146
Shopping for Clothes    150
As a woman    152
Private Lives    157
Walking at night •    158
The Big Question    160
The power of women    163
Armpits    166
Fat Girls    169
Lying Awake •    170
Us and Them    171
Youth    172
Parents    174

Educational Change    176
The Glass Ceiling    177

(and more)